Update

My doctor confirmed the miscarriage yesterday morning.  In a way, it was closure for me.  On the other hand, seeing the picture of my empty womb had to have been to hardest and most painful thing I've ever seen.  Usually people are always hoping that their x-rays or ultrasounds showed nothing.  I was deperately pleading the opposite.

I really don't know how I feel at this point.  I am just plain sad, a lot.  I don't feel like doing much, yet I have a bunch of commitments I am responsible for.  The drive to work in the morning is hard.  Once I get into things, work seems to go ok, until my classroom is empty and I'm alone again.

I really do appreciate all the prayers.  I am getting ready for Nathan's belated 1st birthday, so hopefully that'll get my mind off things more.

Missing Someone You've Never Met

My heart is heavy.  I miscarried what would have been our third child this weekend.  Questions have been going through my mind.  Why me?  Why us?  What did I do wrong?  Why couldn't we have kept the baby?

I am exhausted from grief.  I am trying to pull myself together for Natty and Nathan, but it is excruciatingly hard painful.  

My mind and my heart remind me that God is in control and has a plan.  The plan does hurt very much that our baby went to be with the Lord and did not get to meet us.

Thank you for your prayers, they are very much appreciated. 

What's New?

It has been quite a busy couple of weeks!!!!  We finally got moved in.  We moved into OUR home on Aug. 5, and I went back to work Aug. 10th.  The first week and a half or so of work has been great.  We've had some crazy schedules to untangle, but we are almost there.  We are loving being homeowners.  Still can't park in the garage yet, but it's coming.  Right now we are getting settled, and getting ready to ACTUALLY have Nathan's birthday party on Sept. 4th.  It'll be Labor Day weekend, and of course, with being a teacher, I get a 3-day weekend.  If you're local, come stop by!  Well, that's all the updates for now.  Here's something fun to you guys to try to figure out.  What's new with my page?  Will be updating soon, and with pictures.

Taking a Breather!

Oh boy!!!!  What a month it has been!!!!!!  A 45-day escrow turned into a 3-month long escrow.  HORRIBLE!!!!!  Nothing like going through a trial to see what your faith is made of!  

Well, with most of the repercussions of the escrow behind us, we can proudly say, "We ARE Homeowners!!!"  I am not quite to the point that I am excited yet.  I think at this point we're just relieved.  I start back to teaching a week from today, and am freaking out quite a bit.  I'm not nearly has prepared at this point as I should be.  There has just been too much housing stuff going on, and taking care of our two angels.

Anyhow, we are 99% moved into OUR home.  We couldn't stay tonight because neither the stove nor dishwasher was installed today.  We also can't turn on our water until the repairs are done.  We can't clean until the water is on, and we can't put stuff away until the cleaning is done...etc...etc..etc... You get the picture.

I am learning (slowly) that I DO NOT need to do everything at once.  I had it in my mind that I wanted everything to be absolutely PERFECT when we moved, well, things didn't exactly work out my way.  :)

I am excited about the projects coming our way.  The immediate thing thought, is getting stuff put away somewhat, and FINALLY being able to have our Nemo Party for Nathan's 1st birthday.  Poor guy, I had to push the original date back, then had to cancel when our house didn't close on time (for the THIRD time - LLLOOONNNGGG story).  

We are happy to have our own place and slowly putting things together.  The kids have been top priority.  Natty is just thrilled with her room.  It makes just feel so good to see her light up.

Well, that is it for now for updates.  I thought I'd take a breather since I hadn't updated in 2 weeks.

Happy Wednesday!