Happy FIRST Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Nathan!  A year ago today, your father was driving me to the hospital late on a Saturday morning.  Everyone told me, including Dr. King, that you would be my early baby.  You sure did want to do things on your own time. 

You were a surprise to our family.  Your sister would be turning one in about a month, and I was attending one of my last classes.  The day before I found out I was pregnant with you, I had a root canal!  All I can say is that the Lord choose the perfect to bless me with you.  It was so fun trying to tell your dad about you.  We went out and celebrated with some Thai food.  The first person we told (or I told) was Natty.  Then we told your Grandpa and Grandma.  Then we tried to tell your Papa and Nana, but they weren't home, so we told your Aunt Mollie and Uncle Jon.  Everyone was excited to meet you.

A couple days before you were born, Dr. King decided we needed to induce because I was nearly 2 weeks overdue!  Boy, you sure taught your Mommy patience.  I was so nervous and scared that you were not coming on your own.  I remember staying up late talking to your Daddy, and upset praying we made the right decision.  I prayed I would go into labor on my own and we wouldn't have to force you to come out.  Mommy was getting very big, and we weren't sure how big you were going to be.  It was a quiet and relaxed morning - no contractions at all.  However, lo and Behold, we arrived at the hospital to discover Mommy was indeed in labor.  You were still taking your sweet time though, and needed a little motivation to come meet everyone.

Nathan, you have brought so much joy to me this past year.  I love how you and your sister play.  I pray you guys keep growing close to each other and take care of each other.  I cherish every moment I get with you.  I am honored to be your mother, and know I have done absolutely nothing to derserve your unconditional love.  I love that you want me to cuddle you and sometimes (a lot of times) it has to be just me.  I love that you crawl up to me as fast as you can and try to tackle me with hugs.  I love your slimy kisses, and how you like to blow on my shoulders.  My prayer is that by some miracle, God will teach me each day how to become to Mommy you truly deserve.

Today is your birthday, and I want you to know I love you with all my heart and pray God will equip your father and me to teach you how to become the godly man He desires you to be.  Even though you are only one, I hope you know how much we love you and how much we just absolutely love having you in our lives. 

We love you Nathan!!!!

Daddy - Mommy - Natty

Shaking My Fists

I want to scream, stomp my feet, and shake my fists at the world.  I hate, hate, HATE it when people don't do their jobs, and it affects me - AND my family. We are 3 weeks over our original escrow closing date, and it just makes me BOIL that we can't just get into our home already.  I hate that we've been packed up for 3 weeks.  I've hated that I'd had to push Nathan's 1st birthday a week, and almost have had to cancel it all together.  I've hated that every other day "something came up" according to our realtor or mortgage officer, and I spend the night crying to sleep.  However, what I've hated the most is my ugly, worldly flesh keeps rearing its ugly head, each time "something came up."

All growing up, I have always been very docile, reserved, quiet, shy, soft-spoken, etc. - you get the picture.  Now that I've nearly had 6 years of working in junior high under my belt, I think a lot of that has been jaded.  I'm a teacher, and I work with deadlines.  One of my worst pet-peeves is incompetence.  I have always tried to live by "letting your yes, be yes - and your no, be no."  Internally, I can be very judgmental, and this is not a quality I am proud of.  For the sake of my job though, I use it a lot.  It drives me completely INSANE when someone do not do something they say they are going to do, and makes no attempt to fix it.  This makes me feel like I am totally righteous about my anger, but.....what picture of Christ does that show.

One of the things I've struggled with the most is trusting God's timing, His will, and His provisions.  I am a planner.  I will imagine 10 different "worst-case-scenarios" and pair them up with 10 solutions - just so we are "prepared."  I don't like suprises (unless they are flowers or a green tea latte) and I don't like the unknown.  When things don't get done I am use to hasseling people to get it done.  I have had to trust that things will work out when God wants them to work out and HOW He wants them to work out. 

Another this is that I have had to learn to be more submissive to Tim's authority in our family.  I am the kind of person that does not really rely much on other people or ask other people for help very often.  I tend to want to do things myself because I know how I want them done and what the end result so be.  So with something like our house situation, keeping my mouth shut is very hard.  I have (very unfairly) gotten angry so many times, and it is so hard.  God's placed us in this situation for a reason, and I need to learn from it.  Another lesson I've learned, or rather what has been revealed to me is that I have been blessed by a husband who cares about our family, and I need to rest in that fact and not try to take control.  Besides, I would have not been so gracious as Tim if I were on the phone with the various people we keep on having to call to get updates on.

To be honest, I just want all this housing stuff to be over.  I really have no desire to ever buy a house EVER again, unless I have cash that I can just throw down and run away with the keys.  Such a frustrating process, and DRAINING.  Through it all though, my family has loved me unconditionally.  Even through the tears and pity-parties, I am still so very loved.

Nathan turns ONE on Saturday, and I am reminded why we named him Nathan Joel.  When I was about 5 months along with Nathan, we though we had purchased a home, but it didn't work out.  We choose the name "Nathan" because it means "God has provided."  The Lord not only blessed us out of the blue with another child, but Nathan has been my constant reminder that the Lord provides, PERIOD.  Joel, Nathan's middle name, means "Jehovah is the Lord."  Jehovah is the Lord and He has provided!  That is the message Nathan carries with him everyday.

I could continue to be upset about so many things, but the fact is, God has (and continues to) provided solutions to every trial we've faced.  My encouragement to you is DO NOT let Satan have the satisfaction of seeing you recoil during your trials.  Allow the Lord to work through you and make you stronger. 

I am a firm believe that everything happens for a reason.  If that reason alone is to glorify the Lord, even if I don't get why things happen the way they do, that reason - in and of itself - is enough to bring me to obedience to the Lord.

Hopefully soon - around a week - we'll be moving into our HOME, and I'll be posting pictures.  In the meantime, if you're in CA, especially in the IE, stay out of the heat!  It's getting hot in here!

Chop Chop!

We had a fun day yesterday.  We went to church, Dos Lagos, back to church, the in-laws, and attempted to see fireworks.  While I was bummed about the fireworks (no parking), the best part of the hair cut I got from this snazzy salon that opened up recently at Dos Lagos.  I must say this was the best haircut experience I've ever had.  I typically hate getting my haircut.  It never turns out the way I want it to.  Therefore, I just usually let to grow, and grow, and grow, until I can't stand it anymore, then I whack it all off and start the cycle over again.  This place was called Monesprit Aveda.  I'm not the type that usually gets my haircut in a "salon."  I'm pretty cheap when it comes to things like that, but this experience has really made me want to go back.  The people there were so friendly and nice, offer you water/tea upon arrival, and the stylist I got asked me tons of questions to make sure she was doing what I wanted.  Got my hair washed, cut, blow dried, and styled, and I feel pretty!  Oh, the best part WAS it was FREE!!!  Anyway, I think this will become one of the few splurges I will have to save up and do again.  Here are some pictures of the cut.  Yes, I'm in my PJ's and yes, I am sunburned from being outside at Harvest. :)

Just Wishin' And Hopin' And Thinkin' And Prayin'....

Better known for its soundtrack in My Best Friend's Wedding, this song has been going on in my head.  We were supposed to close on Monday (6/28).  Needless to say, that has not happened, and out new date was two weeks from yesterday (7/16).  I just really feel like this whole house-buying process is rather ridiculous.  However, I don't understand why things are working out this way.  The only thing I am TRYING (very hard) to hold onto, and what Tim keeps reminding me of is that: God sees the whole picture, and sees us in the house we're to have.  The troubles we go through is just but a moment, compared to eternity.

In the mean time, we've been trying to plan for Nathan's 1st birthday!  He turns 1 2 weeks from tomorrow!  I can't believe how fast time has flown by.  I now have an almost preschooler, and a toddler.  I sure miss the kids being "babies."  I'm off work this month, so we've been catching up on some family time as well.  Hope everyone if off to a great weekend!