Burnt Out and Stressed Out

Sometimes I wonder if I've got what it takes to be a public school teacher, let alone a special education teacher. 

Public schools have a really bad repuation, and I've always felt that was one of the reasons I was so drawn to them.  One of my professors (for a credentialing class) shared that if we had more Christian teachers willing to serve the public school, imagine the difference it would make!  I really took that to heart.  To be honest, I still do believe in the public school, but I also believe it is in need of much serious help.  I also still do believe it's very much a grossly neglected missions field.

The past two weeks have been trying through.  I feel like each morning I get up and find myself going against the current from 7:45 to 2:08.  We're (Christians) called to be light in this dark world, and boy does it ever feel dark here sometimes.

I've really been praying about a change in careers, but I feel convincted, and feel like I'm giving up.  If I don't do this job, then who else, and will that someone else be a believe and want to share God's love with those he/she comes across?  But then, I'm also torn with the amount of time I spend away from my own children and how exhausted I am to come home each day and still give of my time they deserve.  What do you do?  What CAN you do?

I feel at a lost.  I look at my class (thinking of a certain period in particular), and I think I may start to begin to feel how Christ did when He wept over Jerusalem.  It's so hard to admti and come to terms with thought.  I start out and I see lost children with no vision, no future.  They don't care, and they're happy/content to not care.  They talk about drugs, drinking, sexual immorality - and they think it's all ok.  Mine you, these are 8th graders.  One boy the other day shared about their family loosing their home, and about how they would trash it because, "if we can't have it, neither can the government."  I've never felt so my pain and frustration with this generation as I have this year.

A lot of families need your prayers.  A lot of our schools need your prayers.  So many people in so many positions seem to have their hands tied, and I pray that Satan's foothold would be taken away.  This is have so heavy on my heart, and I don't know what to do except cry out in frustration.  I really don't want to give up, unless the Lord makes it possible for me to be home with my kids.  At the same time, I am just one person trying to share Jesus, but sometimes I just feel like it isn't making a difference - definitely attacks from the enemy.