What Matters...

Been in a reflective mood lately...I've had a tremendous load on my plate that I have secretly been trying to "pray" away.  However, this 'load' I've been trying to get rid of has really put things into perspective for me.

• My kids don't necessarily sport the latest fashions. 
• But they are beautiful inside and out.
• Often times, you find them running around with unkept hair and sporting dirt various places on their body and clothes.
• But they are almost, ALWAYS happy, joyful, and smiling.
•  We can't really afford to eat out at super fancy restaurants.
• But we always share meals together as a family.
• Our living room is almost, ALWAYS in a state of chaos.
• But I know the chaos came out of the kids having fun with us.
• Our weekly menu usually consists of 2 nights of pasta, hamburger helper, or some other cheapo meal.  We are also always trying to find our weekly 99 cents deals.
• We know we always have enough food for all of us, and we aren't going hungry.  We also found I FAVORITE taco place.
• We always shop off of the clearance racks, and almost always with a coupon.
• Our family is clothed, and presentable.

I didn't write this because I think I am 'super-mom' in any way.  I write this because through the past year, the Lord has shown me what being content means.  I don't have it nailed down, but God has really shifted my focus as to what's needed and what's wanted.  When my will is aligned with the heart of God, things have a funny way of just falling right into place.

We have had to look and wait for over a year to find the house the Lord has for us.  The process hasn't been easy.  We have cut our budget to the BARE minimum.  Many times I just want to throw up my hands and say, I'm done, I'm tired, and I'm through.  

Then, I walk upstairs and see our beautiful daughter sleeping in our bed waiting for little brother to fall asleep.  Or I walk in to pick up our little Prince who's upset to console him.  And they take a good tug at my heartstrings.  I seen them running (crawling) around the apartment, and I look into their eyes and I just want to give the world to them.

Then, I realize that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, of monetary value that would mean ANYTHING to them if they do not know the love of Jesus.  So, my perspective changes.  I give up "me" time, and we have "our" time.  I take Nathan's slobbery kisses and Natty's hugs, while getting smeared by the leftovers of her dinner that made it onto her clothes, hair, and body.  I nod off while holding Nathan because he's been upset and doesn't want to be put down.  But I realize every stroke on his face is a reminder to him of how much I love him.  I acknowledge Natty screaming "STAR" in the backseat for the 20th time because she sees the Carl's Jr. sign off the freeway instead of telling her to be quiet because I know she'll feel appreciated.  I don't look forward to their bedtimes, no matter how tired I am, because I know I am that much closer to having to leave them again in the morning for work.

This has all been on my mind because Sunday, 2 days ago, was Mother's Day.  A lot of women asked me how I was going to be spending my day, and wished me some "alone" and "relaxing" mommy-time.  To me, Mommy-Time could not possibly have been anything else but spending it with my family.  I am a mother, I am a wife.  "Alone-time", whatever that is, is something that I have willingly surrendered.   To me, I want to know that my family feels loved and taken care of.  And if, by chance, I get a green-tea latte or a passion ice tea lemonade thrown into the mix, well, that's just the cherry on top. 

I really don't know where I was getting at with this blog.  But if you've read it this far, thanks for reading.  I know you all have a wonderful Tuesday.

Mother's Day May 2010

I would never trade this for any job, title, recognition...for anything, anyone, anywhere.