James MacDonald

I was very blessed by yesterday's sermon by an awesome visiting pastor, James MacDonald.  If you have never heard this man speak, you are missing OUT!  I don't generally play favorites with Pastors, but I am always very blessed when James visits Harvest.  Check out the sermon here.

I think the biggest part of being blessed yesterday is that I feel like I have been struggling a lot.  Most of them are inward struggles.  And I have been praying, praying for something, anything to help me get through and move forward.  For a while I having silently been giving myself a pity part. 

It's not fair - we didn't get our house.  It's not fair - I have to go back to work.  It's not fair - that I'm so tired.  It's not fair - that everyone moves up and moves on, and we're stuck.  It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair.  These are the things that have been going through my head when I wake up in the middle of the night, and I am ashame of them.  Ashamed because I have been given a ministry to take care of my family and what really isn't fair, is me not happily doing what needs to get done.

I, in no way, could ever compare myself to James.  This man has battled cancer, has dealt with a prodigal child, and has a dying mother.  However, what encouraged me the most was that when he said he reached a point when he thought he could go on, and prayed that the Lord would just give him something.  God has always come through for him.  I can definitely echo that God has come through for me too.  Also, James reminded us that this isn't the way things will always be.  I am holding on to that with all that I've got right now.

My 6 weeks of maternity leave is over, and it has just been crushing me.  I am taking 2 weeks of unpaid leave to be home just a little bit more with the kids.  Every night I am praying for peace to return to work - 2 weeks from today.  Even as I am typing this, it's so hard.  My two beautiful children are asleep.  I've enjoyed just sitting here just watching them for the past hour.  They are so peaceful, without a single care in the world.  That is exactly how I'd like to be. 

I feel like the past couple months, we have just been hit with trial after trial.  Sometimes I cannot help but laugh. I was searching for verses tonight on trials and tribulations and came across James 1:2-3 (how perfect is that).  It says...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

A couple different translations end with endurance, hope, or patience instead of perserverance.  But I like the NIV translation.  I need to perservere, not just survive.  I looked up perservere.  It means.. to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.  The 3 key words in the definition for me were:  persist, purpose, and steadfastly.  I feel lately I've just let everything kind of boggle me down and wear me down.  I was persisting.  I lost sight of the purpose.  And there was nothing steadfast about it, except me going steadfastly in the wrong direction.

There are so many reasons why so many things happen to us.  James shared that there is always something going on, something that forces us to rely on God, and maybe that is because it keeps our hearts humbled.  Boy, I sure needed reminding of that. 

Well, I think this is my longest post ever, but I want to update you guys on the kiddos real quick. 

Nathan is growing like a weed.  He's over 12 lbs., starting rolling over (tummy to back), smiles (a bunch!), and giggles.  He is starting to take longer naps - usually in the evening, and is a great sleeper at night.  Still has his wicked appetite during the day.  But that's ok, it's our special Mommy-Nathan time, and I wouldn't give it up for the world.  He's started tracking us - he definitely knows our voices.  He is one strong little man.  He tries to hard to push up with his legs when we hold him up.  He may be an early walker - we'll see.  He is outgrowing many of his clothes, and I am constantly resorting items we've received and switching out his drawers.  He is such a huge blessing to us and we are so very thankful for this wonderful person in our lives.

Natty is ALSO growing like a weed.  I cannot believe how heavy she feels after having Nathan.  She is getting so incredibly big.  I am a little sad because she is growing up so fast, and I don't want to miss a single moment.  She continues to master most of her alphabets.  Let's see, we are up to A, B, C, D, F, H, L, M, N (sometimes), O, P, S, X, and W.  More than half way there!  She seems to be learning new words everyday.  We are so surprised by the things she learns and comes up with.  Our favorite has been "apple juice."  It is so cute.  I haven't been able to catch it on video yet, but hope to post that soon.  She loves to read and draw.  I cannot wait for her to start school.  She is going to love it.  I sometimes wish she was in Thailand, then she could start school next year like mommy.  I can already tell she is going to have a blast.  She still loves her Curious George and VeggieTales.