Waiting

Let me start off by saying that buying a home has to be the most stressful thing you may ever do in your life.  I've been reflecting a lot on our adventures the past 2 months.  There is nothing compared to the experiences of purchasing your first home.  It has been more stressful than planning our wedding.  It has also proved to be more stressful than birthing children.  I think Tim has been way more solid than I have throughout this whole process.  I have been so proud of him.  He is truly the godly head of our household.  I am ashame to admit, but I have crumbled quite a many times since March.  We are at the last stretch.  We are 99.9% there, even though I feel like there is a chance we won't the the house anyway.

Tim and I were talking and he reminded me that God is in control, no matter the outcome.  If we don't get the house, it wasn't the home we were suppose to have, and we'd praise the Lord for keeping us from being outside of His will.  If we do get it, the Lord knew all along and He is receiving glory and praise from our obedience to trust Him. 

Trusting in the Lord when you can't see is very difficult.  Have you ever had one of those "trusting" exercises where one member was blindfolded, and you had to trust your partnet to lead you through an obstable course?  I used to hate those, but that is exactly how I feel right now.  I can't see the end result, or understand the trials we've been going through.  The only facts I know is that 1) God is in control, and 2) what God has choose to bless us, Satan will sought out to destroy.

Jesus, Bring the Rain

When I'm SUPER stressed out, I feel like this song can always lift my spirits.  Sometimes when I get too focused on my situations, I need to ask myself - What's this momentary "hardship" in light of everything Christ did for me?  If what I am going through will bring any praise and any glory to the Lord, I need to welcome it.

Here you go, from Mercy Me - Bring the Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Blue Skies

This is a really encouraging song for me from Point of Grace.  I listen to it going to work frequently in the morning.  The lyrics definitely changes my point of view.  No matter your situation, I pray that you would, as I am trying to, remember that for the believer, the Lord's on your side.  He sees all things in their entirety.  What I see as a struggle or hardship is but a moment, a segment, is time, and whatever that hardship is will last just momentarily.  Happy Thursday!

On days of gray
When doubt clouds my view
It's so hard to see past my fears
My strength seems to fade
And it's all I can do
To hold on, 'til the light reappears
Still, I believe though some rain's bound to fall
That you're here next to me
And you're over it all

(Chorus)
Lord, the sky's still blue
For my hope is in you
You're my joy
You're the dream that's still alive
Like the wind at my back
And the sun on my face
You are life
You're grace
You are blue skies
You're my blue skies

When nights are long
Seems the dark has no end
Still we walk on in light of the truth
For waiting beyond
Where the morning begins
Is the dawn, and you're mercy anew
Oh, to believe we're alive in you're love
There is so much to see
If we keep looking up

(Repeat Chorus)

You fill the heavens with hope and a higher love
A picture, a promise for life

Finding Time with the Lord

I received a card from my women's group leader Thursday night that really convicted me.  At a koinania a while back, we had shared how we were keeping ourselves fed with God's Word.  I don't remember my exact response, but I had shared that with working full-time, a husband and 2 children to take care of, and a household to look after, it's hard to have a set specific time.  So, what I had shared was that I try to always make sure I have God's Word readily available wherever I am.  Tim and I have an assorted collection of Bibles, so I try to make sure there is always something, somewhere.  In my purse/bag, in the living room, in the bedroom, in my car, etc - so that when I do find I have "down" time, there is always something there waiting for me to be fed from.  However, the reality is that I am a hoarder of "down" time.  When the kids go down, I want to "relax."  Or I discover, the dishes haven't been done and the laundry needs to be put away.  OH, and here's the new one - WE NEED TO PACK!  I do not like to confess that I have other things I allow to compete for the time I should and need to be spending with the Lord.  With that out in the open, here is little bit of what my leader wrote in my card that has really exhorted me to "get back in the game," so to speak...

"...your example of studying God's Word in the mist of all that has really challenged me to use the time I have to the fullest.  You shared at one of our koinanias about having God's Word or devotionals easily accessible around your home which I now have done and it has been a real encouragement to me.  Wherever I sit His Word is waiting!...."

Who would have known that something I shared at our koinania would touch my leader is such a special way?  I really do not view myself as anything great, not a scholar, not anyone important.  I jsut feel I am a child of God, struggling along the way on this road called life.  It was amazing to knwo that God used something I shared and struggled with to encourage someone else that I had been looking to as an example on how to follow and obey God's Word.

Well, hope everyone is off to a great weekend!

Kid Pics

Nathan riding buckaroo......Nathan trying to escape...he's actually pretty fast!Let's see what I can get into...Oh...what did I find?Mollie giving Natty her first piano lessons...Ooooh...the kitty box, did they leave me any goodies?

 Playing with toys on the train-table.Where do all these parts go?Here Nathan, let me show you!Nathan:  Do they taste good Natty?

Kissing Baby Brother...Smacking the blocks together and cackling...Blowing Mommy a kiss...Let's see if I can climb on myself.

Nathan - The Pet

Natty got this 3-foot long piece of licorice from the Day of the Teacher Bash at CNTA.  Poor Nathan was at the mercy of our not-so-innocent Princess. :)  Enjoy!

Big sisters - What can I say?

What Matters...

Been in a reflective mood lately...I've had a tremendous load on my plate that I have secretly been trying to "pray" away.  However, this 'load' I've been trying to get rid of has really put things into perspective for me.

• My kids don't necessarily sport the latest fashions. 
• But they are beautiful inside and out.
• Often times, you find them running around with unkept hair and sporting dirt various places on their body and clothes.
• But they are almost, ALWAYS happy, joyful, and smiling.
•  We can't really afford to eat out at super fancy restaurants.
• But we always share meals together as a family.
• Our living room is almost, ALWAYS in a state of chaos.
• But I know the chaos came out of the kids having fun with us.
• Our weekly menu usually consists of 2 nights of pasta, hamburger helper, or some other cheapo meal.  We are also always trying to find our weekly 99 cents deals.
• We know we always have enough food for all of us, and we aren't going hungry.  We also found I FAVORITE taco place.
• We always shop off of the clearance racks, and almost always with a coupon.
• Our family is clothed, and presentable.

I didn't write this because I think I am 'super-mom' in any way.  I write this because through the past year, the Lord has shown me what being content means.  I don't have it nailed down, but God has really shifted my focus as to what's needed and what's wanted.  When my will is aligned with the heart of God, things have a funny way of just falling right into place.

We have had to look and wait for over a year to find the house the Lord has for us.  The process hasn't been easy.  We have cut our budget to the BARE minimum.  Many times I just want to throw up my hands and say, I'm done, I'm tired, and I'm through.  

Then, I walk upstairs and see our beautiful daughter sleeping in our bed waiting for little brother to fall asleep.  Or I walk in to pick up our little Prince who's upset to console him.  And they take a good tug at my heartstrings.  I seen them running (crawling) around the apartment, and I look into their eyes and I just want to give the world to them.

Then, I realize that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, of monetary value that would mean ANYTHING to them if they do not know the love of Jesus.  So, my perspective changes.  I give up "me" time, and we have "our" time.  I take Nathan's slobbery kisses and Natty's hugs, while getting smeared by the leftovers of her dinner that made it onto her clothes, hair, and body.  I nod off while holding Nathan because he's been upset and doesn't want to be put down.  But I realize every stroke on his face is a reminder to him of how much I love him.  I acknowledge Natty screaming "STAR" in the backseat for the 20th time because she sees the Carl's Jr. sign off the freeway instead of telling her to be quiet because I know she'll feel appreciated.  I don't look forward to their bedtimes, no matter how tired I am, because I know I am that much closer to having to leave them again in the morning for work.

This has all been on my mind because Sunday, 2 days ago, was Mother's Day.  A lot of women asked me how I was going to be spending my day, and wished me some "alone" and "relaxing" mommy-time.  To me, Mommy-Time could not possibly have been anything else but spending it with my family.  I am a mother, I am a wife.  "Alone-time", whatever that is, is something that I have willingly surrendered.   To me, I want to know that my family feels loved and taken care of.  And if, by chance, I get a green-tea latte or a passion ice tea lemonade thrown into the mix, well, that's just the cherry on top. 

I really don't know where I was getting at with this blog.  But if you've read it this far, thanks for reading.  I know you all have a wonderful Tuesday.

Mother's Day May 2010

I would never trade this for any job, title, recognition...for anything, anyone, anywhere.